I often meet and talk to guys who are caught up on how to know if a girl is attracted to you or not.
I get it, it’s not always easy to know and to be honest, women can be tricky to read (in case you didn’t know!). There are those women who are just super friendly and chatty and often, unfortunately for our men, they take those signs as something other than being friendly and either totally put their foot in it, or ruin a good potential friendship!
And then there are those women who are like a closed book, impossible to read, sending all these signs and signals that are literally impossible to interpret and men get bored with trying to read into shit, they want it straight, am I right?
I wish it could be that easy! If only we could all just be like “hey, I like you, wanna go out?”.
And hey, some people are! Kudos. But, for the greater part of the population, it’s all about social queues or interpreting someone’s body language or behaviour.
So, how can you tell if a girl is attracted to you?
Firstly, attraction isn’t a single action or thing, it’s a pattern or a build up of actions that create the intention and make it more obvious for the other person to realise that there is something more in this than just a few friendly gestures.
So rather than trying to remember a long check list of things to look for, don’t overthink it, just be yourself and it will become clear when her behaviour is trying to spark your curiosity. Enjoy the feeling of attraction as it grows!
One thing you can do is understand some of the most common themes of attraction. Being able to recognise and understand these signs will hopefully leave you feeling more equipped and comfortable in a social situation to enable you to connect with new people.
Take Note of Her Body Position – a girl is attracted to you?
Without being creepy, be mindful of the position of her body. There are some clearer signs of definite attraction you can be aware of with regard to how a woman holds herself or positions herself.
There are a lot of guys that worry about whether or not she’s touching her hair or her clothes or these other super subtle cues. News flash, most girls will adjust themselves at some point. There is a much easier way – read her body language.
It’s simple. The more she’s facing you, the more likely she/ a girl is attracted to you? And the more she’s facing away, the more she has her mind on other things or is ready to run off as soon as she finds a good “out”.
Think about it as if it were yourself, if you’re into someone, they have your full attention. That means face, eyes and body aligned and facing that person.
It’s true, while a girl could “fake” interest in you with her body language (or, for that matter, fake a lack of interest), pretty much no human being is self-aware enough to perform this kind of move, or be bothered.
So rest assured, the more she’s facing you, the more likely she’s into you.
Eye Contact – a girl is attracted to you?
This one is fairly self explanatory.
Eye contact is a universal symbol of human attraction. In fact, even infants maintain eye contact with people they’re interested in, cool hey.
People in general will tend to stare intently at those they are attracted to for between two and three seconds. If she’s really interested in you, her pupils will dilate during this time, which is kind of cool if you can catch it happening (probably a bit tricky in a nightclub but you get the idea!).
Eye contact is so basic, yet or some strange reason, men overlook it when they’re trying to determine whether or not a girl might be attracted to them.
However, like the position of her body, she’s not going to think that eye contact is a way to “fake” interest. On the contrary, she’s much more likely to use a lack of eye contact to get away from a guy she’s not interested in. It’s a fairly strong sign that she would rather be somewhere else. So if you’re talking to her and she’s looking you in the eye while you’re speaking, don’t worry. She’s interested in what you have to say. Now your job is to keep her interested. Good luck.
Sharing Stories – a girl is attracted to you?
One of the most powerful ways a woman will shower attraction is by sharing stories about herself.
Stories she wouldn’t usually share with just anyone. It opens up a trust and communication line, they want you to know more about them. And it’s not just women who do this. Generally this sort of
communication will be reciprocated by men who are also prone to sharing secrets with women, especially attractive women they’ve just met!
The power of vulnerability is one to be honoured. And a fairly clear sign that there is a really strong connection. We don’t share stories or personal things with people if we have no interest in getting to know them.
So when you’re out at a bar or socialising with friends and a girl is confiding things about her personal life in you, don’t take it for granted. Sure, her friends might know these stories but not every guy in the bar does. She told you because she wants to let you in.
When a woman is attracted to you, she very well might blush. This can either be because attraction
makes the body temperature rise (fact) or due to the stress and awkwardness of being attracted to a guy. Just like you, she doesn’t want to mess this up and is likely looking for signs!
Blushing is cute and so romantic! She can’t fake attraction to you by blushing. She does it involuntarily (damn our human body in moments like this!).
When women are interested in a man, they generally want nothing to stand between the two of you. On the other hand, holding a purse, or phone between the two of you can be a way to “hide.”
Example: A woman turned toward you, holding her purse to the side is a good sign. But a woman clutching her purse (or phone) probably doesn’t think you’re about to take off with her goods, it might just mean that she’s not that attracted to you.
The fact that she’s holding it between you might not be a conscious choice, but it’s probably not without a purpose either. On the other hand, sticking it on the bar isn’t just a potential sign of attraction. It’s also a sign of trust and comfort.
In saying this, don’t assume too much about what she’s doing with her purse or phone or whatever the object in hand might be, but do use that objects position to contextualise the rest of her body language.
Naturally, people tend to like people who are like them. And they also tend to act like people they like. It’s human nature.
Fun fact: A study from The Journal of Nonverbal Behavior found that people tend to mimic the behavior of those they are attracted to. This is a phenomenon known as “interactional symmetry,” and it begins in infancy.
We’ve all been in situations where friends, family or coworkers start saying the same things or pick up on other peoples little habits or mannerisms. Mimicking what the girl you’re flirting with at the bar is doing is just a micro version of the above. Rather than happening over days, weeks or months, you two are picking up each others quirky mannerisms, movements and phrases over minutes and hours. Cute hey?
So, pay attention to the words she uses and pay attention to her body language. Does it mirror your own? Is she using phrases that you have used throughout the conversation? Is she building on your jokes or conversations to extend them and make them last or carry into other leading conversations? Chances are she’s not consciously trying to copy you. She’s just doing what people do when they’re attracted to another human being.
Now that we’ve explored and dug into some of the most common laws of attraction when it comes to the opposite sex, you should be able feeling more confident to notice them much more easily. I find that once guys know what they’re looking for, it’s hard not to notice signs of attraction. It’s like when you buy a new car and you suddenly see it driving around all over the place.
So the next time you find yourself wondering if she’s attracted, do a quick mental check for these signs (subtly) and watch as they grow your confidence in your approach to women and building a relationship connection.