Dating Relationships

Flirting on social media – What are you getting wrong?

Chances are, if you’re single and on social media, you’re probably using it as a way to meet your
new squeeze. And let’s be real, it’s the perfect platform these days to connect with people that you
may not normally be able to meet in real life. Here’s how you should start flirting on social media.

Think of social media as the gateway to your future dream date or relationship.

The crux of flirting is such a secretive thing. It’s really pretty simple though. If you are the “flirter”
you just give someone special a little extra of your attention. And I say a little extra on purpose. The
last thing you want to do in any situation whether online or in person is make someone feel weird
or awkward.

So, how do you flirt without coming across as “too much”?

Well sugar, you need to learn to read a social situation, which unfortunately is something a lot of
men are really bad at doing. It’s not on purpose, it’s just that when confronted with a beautiful
human being, so many men turn into total froth heads and forget their own names (feel me?).
This is true on social media too. Lots of genuine guys totally mess up on flirting social media, which
is a real kick in the pants (literally) because like I said, if you know what you’re doing, it can be
used as the gateway to your next potential mind blowing date or relationship.

Let me break it down for you, just like in real life social situations where you are face to face with a
girl, generally guys will strike out on social media because they’re completely oblivious to paying
attention and taking time to pick up on behavioural cues.

They get all worked up and hot under the collar and do the online equivalent of strolling up to a
woman and saying something like “hey, wow, you’re really hot, do you wanna come home and see
my weights, maybe we can “netflix and chill”?” They completely rubbish any form of subtlety or
conversation and pretty much signal that they’re a drop kick and after one thing. You may as well
have a fluro light flashing above your head reading – Douchebag!

Here are a few Do’s and Don’ts to help you out


● Comment with something simple and genuine.
● Call her by her name.
● If you need to use another name use it in context rather than directly, for example, “Hey
Kristy that’s a really cute photo” or “Hey Kristy that looks like a beautiful place, where is this
taken?”, even a one word compliment on some random photo she has is fine, it shows
you’re paying attention without being overt.
● Create conversation in the comments before you slide into her DMs.
● Like a couple of her recent photos or comment on them, she will get notifications which will
show her that you’re looking at her profile, not a photo she’s just posted.
● Be subtle with your attention, create a relationship in the comments.


● Don’t use lameass GIFs like a wolf whistling or a drooling face
● Don’t leave derogatory comments like “nice rack”
● Don’t call her nicknames like sugar tits or hotty (argh, yuck)
● Do NOT slide straight into her DMs with a “holy shit you’re fucking hot!” (she’d probably be
a millionaire by now if she added up the amount of these bullshit messages she’s had) you
need to do better than that to stand out.
● Don’t like every single photo (creepy!)

Things to Remember

If you start paying her a little extra attention, chances are she will jump over to your profile to have
a look. So be mindful of what you are posting! If she sees a bunch of shared images of half naked
girls she’s probably going to go straight to “this guy is a player”, likewise if she sees post after post
of you on messy nights and benders looking like a tool, she’s probably going to think – immature.
So, be mindful of what you post and share. If you wouldn’t want it on the front of a newspaper,
don’t post it. Likewise when you are talking to people in your comments, think about it like this, if
your sister or someone you really care about was being spoken to that way, would you be ok with
it? Or, does it just sound like another douchey guy looking to get his handle stroked?

So you’ve liked a few of her photos and left a couple of comments and now she’s started to like a
couple of your’s and if you’re lucky, comment on one or two. Now is a good time to shoot her a
message and just say “hey”, because she’s engaged you by sharing some interest back (stay with
me here). Don’t immediately send her a message saying “man, you’re so hot” or something equally
straightforward, play it cool and don’t be desperate.

“Don’t be desperate” is kind of the fundamental guiding principle here.

Just realise that by messaging her in private, you’ve taken it to the next level.

What if she doesn’t respond? I’ll be straight up, it means she’s not interested, or perhaps not
comfortable with flirting on social media, some people aren’t! Carry on, as in, move on. Leave it there.

News flash – women notice signals.

Any woman with some sort of attractiveness is getting attention on social media and they know
what that looks like and they get the idea that by you liking some of their stuff, that you’re
interested. So, if you flirt, and they don’t flirt back, it’s pretty safe to assume that you’re being shut
down (sorry). Take a subtle hint and go flirt with somebody else, don’t take it personally and give
yourself some credit for trying. The last thing you want to do is come across publicly as desperate
or overly persistent. And you especially don’t want to make a woman feel harassed or
uncomfortable, however good your intentions are.

While we’re talking about what women notice, there’s another super important downfall of social
media flirtation that you need to avoid. When you’re flirting on social media with someone, you shouldn’t reveal the
fact that you’ve looked at every single picture of them that’s ever existed. Don’t play dumb with me,
you do this, or no doubt have done it at some point.

When you’re really into someone you’ve seen or met on Facebook or Instagram or wherever you’re
hanging out, you 100% go back through to see all her history! You’re human, it’s an unavoidable
temptation. Technology gives us the option to take in the entirety of someone’s life in half an hour.
Freaky hey?

But… you shouldn’t feel guilty or creepy about it, everyone does it! It’s exciting and fun to get to
know someone you fancy through what they post and create an awesome imaginary picture in your
head of what you could do together (happily ever after!)

But, and a big but here guys, if you let somebody know that you’ve been checking out every single
post (even if they might be keen on you) it can make somebody feel a bit uncomfortable and
possibly creeped out, some things are just best left to discover as you get to know one another.
In closing, and just to reiterate, if you take anything away from this it is to not look desperate and
don’t over love on someone, even if it’s legit because you just love all the photos! When in doubt,
just hit the like button a few times and chill.

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