A question that crosses the minds of many is “what is my purpose and am I being a submissive?” and it’s a good question to ask yourself.
It’s rare to find a soul that actually knows the answer to this question. It is true that we have more than just one purpose in life, so I’d like to stick with the question
“What is the purpose of a sub when serving a Dominant?”
When playing with a submissive, finding their role in my life is an important job. I must choose the correct tasks and exercises for them that will be equally as challenging as they are rewarding. I’m very much about empowerment and win/win arrangements.
John’s often share with me that they feel a true sense of purpose when submitting at the feet of a Dominant, but is the fantasy of having someone control their every action and decision liberating for them because at least they know their place in the dungeon space, as opposed to the outside world?
It’s pretty obvious to see that most people enjoy being told how to think and feel, just look at how popular the news is… Teaching a submissive how to be an independent, thinking, feeling being whilst showing them how to be intuitive enough to know what I need before I even ask, sometimes takes tremendous training.
So in the beginning, to find the correct purpose for a submissive, there needs to be negotiation, clear communication of boundaries & discussion of D/s relationship goals before playtime begins. Doing so, your submissive will feel safe and cared for because the Dominant understands their motivation for wanting to serve.
Allowing them to sink deeper into subspace more easily and effortlessly. Understanding what your sub needs makes all the difference and in-turn will have them keep coming back to you, in total devotion.