An Introduction to Cuckold Culture
To be a cuckold means to enjoy watching your partner be intimate with another person, it’s closely tied to BDSM.
Historically, the term cuckolding refers to a man who was unknowingly cheated on by his wife.
The modern-day cuckold who is not necessarily a cisgender or heterosexual male and is fully aware and heartily approves of their partner’s affairs.
Prolific porn sites tell us that the fantasy of ‘cuckolding’ is common and one of the most searched categories.
You can assume that it’s mostly cis-het men that have a desire to experience being a cuckold but you would be wrong.
The ‘cuckoldress’ or the person having sex isn’t always a woman and the third party, also known as the ‘bull,’ isn’t always a man.
With any kink, there are several possible factors at play, including biological and social factors.
The reasons behind the joy of a certain kink are totally unique to an individual.
Psychologists have suggested a number of reasons why someone may be turned on by their partner having sex with someone else.
A biological urge referred to as the “sperm competition theory” may play a role in the desire to be cucked.
That’s if the cuck is someone with a penis, of course.
Research suggests that watching your partner with another man causes a biological response to have longer and more vigorous sex.
This urge often results in in the cuck ejaculating harder with a higher sperm content and a shorter refractory period between erections.
Knowing someone else is attracted to your partner can boost your desire for them tenfold.
Sexual jealousy can be intense, motivating a of course, arousing.
Particular researchers think that jealousy could be part of what fuels sperm competition and gets a male ready to fight for the fertilization win.
Compersion is the opposite of jealousy; It’s the happiness you feel when you see your partner happy.
In polyamorous relationships this word describes the feeling a person gets seeing their partner be courted by someone else.
In the cuckolding world, feelings of happiness come from seeing your partner be sexually satisfied by another.
Humiliation seems to be the leading desire when wanting to be cucked.
It comes from the ridicule a person is likely to face when cheated on.
Humiliation increases the erotic intensity for cucks.
Certain cucks get super excited when laughed at and belittled by their partner and the ‘bull.’
For others, humiliation isn’t even a factor because cuckolding between consenting adults removes any infidelity.
A cuckhold is essentially submitting to someone else taking over their role in the bedroom.
The pleasure comes from giving up that power of sexually pleasing your partner over to someone else.
Who said being a cuckold is Taboo?
Modern culture idolises monogamy, that’s no secret.
Even though cuckolding is a very common fantasy, it’s still considered taboo to share your partner with someone else.
Who doesn’t like being naughty and breaking the ‘rules’ once in a while?
What counts as cucking?
You certainly don’t need to go as far as watching your partner be with another person to enjoy cuckolding.
Cuckolding for you could involve hearing your partner talk about sex with someone else – real or an imagined fantasy.
If you’re really tuned on by the idea of being cucked but you’re not totally ready to employ a bull – start off with watching from a distance, your partner flirt with someone at a bar for example.
If you’re not into that, you could test the waters by suggesting that your partner get a sensual massage as you watch.
Watching and participating
Along with watching your partner and the third party, discuss the option of getting involved.
Your role could be as big or as small as long as all parties agree.
You could direct the bull on how to please your partner or you could even participate with them.
How to talk about cuckolding with your partner
Fantasies, fetishes and kinks are normal, although bringing them up in conversation isn’t always easy.
Use these tips to open up and figure out if it’s something you really want to try.
If your partner brings it up
It can be a little shocking hearing that your partner is interested in cuckolding, especially if your relationship isn’t particularly kinky to begin with.
Being honest and vulnerable about your desires of inviting someone else into your sex-life takes serious courage.
Listen to your partner without any judgement and ask questions!
Your partner may be interested in just the fantasy itself or they may be wanting to manifest it into real-life.
By asking questions you get more of the information you need whilst also showing your partner that they can feel safe being open with you.
You can ask:
• What is it about cuckolding that turns you on?
• Is this just a fantasy or something you want to try?
• How far would you want to take this?
• How do you think this would benefit our relationship?
Don’t rush into agreement, if you need time to make a decision, make time to think about it.
If you decide cuckolding is something you want to go through with, you don’t need to jump into the act right away.
You can start slow by watching some videos together or exchanging fantasies.
If you want to bring it up to your partner
Avoid having any preconceived expectations or assumptions – and be prepared as your partner may not be enthusiastic on the idea.
There is a chance that your partner may not be into the idea – but don’t let that stop you from being completely honest.
Be open about why cuckolding excites you and what you’re hoping to get from it.
Even if your partner isn’t on board, you being honest can open the way for exploration in other areas of kink.
Your partner will want to ask questions, so be prepared to answer them.
To help them understand cuckolding, you can show them an article or educational video to help them better understand where you’re coming from.
Offer examples of how you would imagine going about it.
Just like with any other sexual act, you need good communication, consent and boundaries.
Once the both of you are open to cuckolding, you need to set clear boundaries, first with each other and then with your bull.
The same safety rules for online dating and hook-ups apply here:
• Don’t disclose personal information, e.g., address or place of business
• First meetings should always happen in a public space
• Have your own transportation to and from the meeting place
• Going alone? Make sure your partner knows where you’ll be and when to expect you back
• If sexual intercourse is a possibility, make sure you carry protection.
Consider the risks
Emotional risk is a possibility.
Even if the both you are 100% in agreement at the beginning, feelings can change at any time.
One person may decide they want to stop, the cuck may experience more jealousy than they bargained for, or one or both of the people hooking up could become too attached.
Cuckolding requires complete honesty from everyone involved with every step of the way.
Communicate frequently to make sure you’re all still on the same page.
if anyone is uncomfortable or unsure, or if anything doesn’t feel quite right, stop.
Would you ever consider bringing cuckold culture into your life? The most important thing is to remember when practicing dynamics such as cuckolding, is to communicate and be clear about what you want AND what the others involved are expecting. Clarity is sexy and when you have it you can go for GOLD!