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The question of the century, how to please and pleasure your girlfriend to help her reach climax and orgasm. I can hear you all getting out your notebook and pens and your memory is switched on! Or at least I hope so.

The female orgasm can be quite intimidating, because every single woman is different, no one method will work for every single lady you bed.

Remember that!

So you’re in bed and it would seem your girlfriend is having a good time but by the time you start to hit your climax, she’s not finishing. Maybe she rarely finishes.

Which begs the question, is there some sort of mysterious rule to achieving female orgasm. And why the heck is it so damn complicated when you can empty your load every time!?

70-80% of women don’t reach orgasm! So, don’t worry, you’re not alone here.

According to Emily Morse, a sexologist and host of the “Sex With Emily” podcast, “between 70-80 percent of women” don’t reach orgasm — at least through sex alone. We have to get a lot more going in our sex equation to make that happen.

“Adding in extra clitoral stimulation either with hands, mouth or toys can certainly help women climax while with a partner either while having intercourse or through foreplay,” says Morse. Oral sex is also a winner, as is nipple stimulation.

“Women’s brains process nipple and genital stimulation in the same region of the brain.

So this can lead many women to experience nipple orgasms, as well,” she adds. It’s not quite as simple as just about connecting the right dots, it turns out there’s a whole lot of science involved in getting her off.

Here’s round about where you may want to take some notes boys!

Orgasm Science

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Fact: When we orgasm, it is a response of the nervous system to sexual stimulation.

Both men and women can experience orgasm under certain conditions, typically following genital stimulation, but there is a lot of variation in people’s orgasm experiences.

To begin, you have to understand that the body’s sexual response is broken down into four stages:

1. excitement
2. plateau of arousal
3. orgasm
4. resolution.

Following arousal, the brain stimulates blood flow to your genitals, your heartbeat and breathing increases, and the central nervous system becomes fully engaged, sending signals of enjoyment to your brain’s reward system.

These thousands of nerve endings constantly relay pleasure signals to your brain, resulting in an orgasm.


“In scientific terms, an orgasm is characterised by subjective feelings of intense sensation and pleasure, including a sudden discharge of accumulated erotic tension at sexual climax and a temporarily altered state of consciousness,” says Justin Garcia, scientific advisor for

The Different Kinds of Orgasms

Women vary quite a bit on what type of sexual activities lead to orgasm.

Research is mixed on this but let’s just get real, most women do not reach orgasm from just sex alone!

Often a women will require clitoral stimulation, either by the women themselves or by you, their partner.

This might be through manual stimulation (your hands) or by way of oral sex, these are generally quite effective in inducing an orgasm.

Some women experience an orgasm just from penetrative vaginal intercourse, possibly by the way they move their body against yours to rub or stimulate the clitorus.

However, many positions don’t provide enough friction or stroking to take her over the edge. There is good news, however, as there are….

A few simple solutions:

1. Get creative and involve oral sex
2. Fingering
3. Maybe even throw in a vibrator to play with (if she’s keen!)


Tricks to Make Her Orgasm

Many women will tell you that an orgasm is pretty much impossible if she’s not in the right headspace.

If she’s distracted, worried or feeling uncomfortable, you can be the world’s greatest lover and still fail to give her real pleasure.

The first thing you need to do is relax and recognise that it’s not all about you. Any man in bed beside a woman knows that he bears some responsibility for sexual satisfaction.

So to make sure you succeed in doing your part, read on for our for tips to make her orgasm.

1. Put on Musky Cologne

Smell is the strongest of the five senses when it comes to sexual functioning for two reasons.

First, since anything musky mimics testosterone, it’ll kick her libido into high gear.

Baby powder can have a similar effect by activating her “scent print,” which links babies to procreation.

Second, because smell, sex and memory centres share close quarters in the brain, the scent of arousal leaves the most lasting impression.

The second she gets a whiff of your musky cologne, she’ll be transported back to the last time she smelled it on your body.

2. Focus on Her 10 O’Clock and 2 O’Clock

When zoning in between her legs, just as you appreciate her indulging more than just your package, she’d like you to go for more than her hood ornament.

Here’s a tip to make you successful!

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If you run your tongue around her clitoral head, concentrating on the 10 o’ clock and 2 o’clock marks on either side, and then gently slip your tongue beneath there, you’ll have her moaning from the intensity.

While being direct on those areas it’s too sensitive, these two sweet spots will make sure that she takes a licking and keeps on ticking.

Soft and slow is key, don’t go hard… gentle, gentle, gentle.

The best way to pull off this manoeuvre is to have her straddle your face as you lay comfortably on your back. She’ll get to lean into the headboard so she can drive the action with ease.

Or, if she feels awkward doing that, just get on down and surprise her. While she lays on her back, part her legs gently and slowly go down, kissing and caressing the insides of her thighs and you move closer to the target.

3. Lube Up

No matter how hot and heavy you guys are getting, without adequate lubrication, it’s easy for sex to become uncomfortable or even painful.

“Lubrication increases the comfort and speed with which you can penetrate the vagina and grind against the clitoris,” says Friedrichs. “But sometimes, no matter how turned on a woman might be psychologically, she can have trouble getting wet.”

Tip: don’t go overboard, we don’t want a slip and slide situation!

Studies have shown that sex is far more enjoyable for women when they use even small amounts of lube.

Here’s another fun fact:
Men who add extra lubrication to their condoms during intercourse tend to last longer in bed, makes sense!

Women Who Never Reach Orgasm!

Now, despite your valiant efforts, the realities of orgasms for women vary.

There are some women who experience orgasm during masturbation but not with a partner. And then there are some women who experience orgasm during sexual activity but not from penetration.

Also some women who only experience orgasm with penetration. There are many women who vary, from one day to another and from one partner to another, depending on other physiological and psychological factors.

But, with any luck, and by giving her all that attention, her skin will be flushed, her pupils dilated, parts of her will be shaking, and she’ll be pushing into you — at least until she can’t take anymore! 

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