Most people just want to know if they fall on the sexually “normal” spectrum. Typically to justify what’s going through their mind when they are fantasising. The truth is, there is no normal when it comes to sex! We are all different in our sexual desires. As long as there’s mutual consent it really doesn’t matter what your fetishes are.
Fantasy & Fetishes
There’s a big difference between fantasy and fetishes. A fantasy is something you spend a good amount of time thinking about while having sex or masturbating. Some of these fantasies are high up on your sexual bucket list and some you’d rather just think about and not actually do.
Fetishes, however, are something that has to be present for you to achieve arousal and orgasm. So while you might fantasise about a threesome, you don’t need two other women in the bed with you to get off. Although it could be a good time every once in awhile. But if you have a fetish for stockings, better make sure your partner likes to wear them or you’re going to have some trouble staying sexually focused.
Research suggests that perhaps half of us are interested in sexual activities outside the “norm,” so if you’re interested in trying any of the following, rest assured you’re not alone. And of course, with any type of sex, acting on fetishes or fantasies should always involve enthusiastic consent from all parties and the use of safer sex practices, such as condoms, to prevent unwanted pregnancies and STIs.
WHERE DO FETISHES COME FROM? – CLICK HERE
Fetishes fall under three categories. Media, Form and Animate. Media is a fetish is developed for a particular material with which one is obsessed with such as rubber, leather, latex, and silk. But with Form fetish, it’s the shape of the object that gives a high. Such as a woman’s high-heels, knee-high boots or lingerie. And lastly, body parts like feet, hair, buttocks or breasts are called Animate fetishes. It’s important to understand that fetish preferences differ from individual to individual. Generally it’s seen that a fetish is accompanied with certain feelings of guilt or shame. If this is you, try and seek other people who share the same sexual desires and practice it.
BDSM: THE MENTAL, PHYSICAL & EMOTIONAL SIDE – CLICK HERE
15 Of The Most Common Fetishes:
1. Foot Fetish
If the smell or sight of bare feet gets you fired up, you’re going to fall into the foot fetish camp. Every detail about the foot can get a foot fetishist going. The majority of foot fetishists are men and they often like to smell, lick or taste feet and require some interaction with any part of your foot to experience orgasm and overall sexual satisfaction.
2. Cross Dressing
This one is more common than you’d imagine and involves the fetishist needing to either wear clothes of the opposite sex or be sexually intimate with someone who is. This fetish is common among both straight and gay men and women. For many, knowing they’re wearing just an item of clothing, like panties with the possibility of being caught, can spike arousal.
3. Latex Fetishes
This fetish describes those who experience immense sexual pleasure when they or their partner wears latex, rubber, vinyl or other shiny and tight materials. Known as Rubberists, these fetishists experience the presence of such slinky materials as a type of bondage. For others, simply the smell or feel of is enough to get them excited.
4. Impact Play
Impact play means spanking, flogging, paddling, and other forms of consensual striking. Spanking is often an easy and safe BDSM entry point that leads to further exploration. Such as purchasing a crop to use with a partner. Impact play can range from a light slap on the bum to a crack of the whip or cane. As with any kink or fetish, it’s important to negotiate boundaries beforehand. Safety and comfort are the most important aspects of kink. Do your homework before practicing impact play. Discuss the level of intensity you enjoy or your partner enjoys, choose a safe word to shut down the action when necessary. And learn what parts of the body are safe to impact. Stick with the meatier areas, like the ass and thighs, and avoid less protected areas where organs live, like the lower back. For both financial savings and safety, it’s a good idea to start out simply using your hand before investing in bigger and badder impact play toys, like a whip or paddle.
You don’t have to stop playing make-believe when you grow up. Role-playing means acting out a sexual fantasy with your partner. Either once or as part of an ongoing fantasy. While it can be a fetish or kink within itself, it’s also a healthy way to act out other fantasies. For instance, if you have a medical fantasy and are aroused by doctors, you probably don’t actually want your doctor to get sexy with you, because that would be creepy and unethical. The beauty of role-playing is that you can have your partner dress up as a doctor and indulge your fantasy consensually in your own home.
Role-playing scenarios range from classic schoolgirl-and-professor scenes to the more taboo, such as daddy dom and little girl. There’s a huge stigma on daddy and brat/princess play, but many love it. Some can’t have sex without calling someone daddy. Such role-playing can involve both age play, in which one partner pretends or both partners pretend to be an age other than their own, and incest fantasies. It’s not unusual for a fetish to overlap into one or more categories.
6. Anal Sex
You don’t need to have an anal fetish to engage in anal sex, but plenty of people do specifically get off on butt stuff. Anal play can range from adding a finger in the ass during penetrative vaginal sex to using butt plugs to having anal sex with a penis or a dildo. In a recent study, 37 percent of women and 43 percent of men said they had engaged in anal sex. (in which women received and men gave). Anal sex can be safe and wonderful! But, there is some prep work involved. Since the butthole is not self-lubricating and harbors bacteria that can lead to infection if transferred to the vagina, it’s important to stock up on lube and read up on ass etiquette before engaging in anal play. That includes safer sex precautions such as condom use. Start small and go slow, using fingers, anal toys, and plenty of lube before moving up to larger objects such as dildos or a penis.
IS ANAL SEX THE NEW RELATIONSHIP NORM? – CLICK HERE
Voyeurism is a fetish that revolves around getting turned on by looking at people having sex or at naked bodies, wherever they can find them. A lot of people have this fetish for observation; they might just be unaware of it. But since 30% of all data transferred on the internet last year was porn, it’s safe to say that the voyeurism fetish is at an all time high. Of course, as with every other fetish, engage in voyeurism consensually For example, at a sex party where a couple has given you permission to watch; watching someone without their permission is never acceptable. The flip side of voyeurism is exhibitionism, which means achieving sexual pleasure by allowing others to watch you.
8. Orgasm Control
Orgasm control is part of BDSM, as it involves an element of dominance and submission. An example of orgasm control is edging. Where the submissive partner is brought to the brink of climax and then forced to stop and repeat. The idea here is that for as long as you like, you let your partner take the reins and determine when and how you climax. As with all of the activities here, anyone can engage in orgasm control regardless of their genitalia.
Hair is another surprisingly popular fetish. Whether it’s on the head tied in ponytails, braids or pigtails, on a blonde, brunette or redheaded woman, every guy has his own specific preference. Bottom line: the innate sensuality of hair does it for guys on many levels. This fetish could also be more focused on specific styles. When hair is styled in a ponytail, it can easily resemble a whip or provide you with something to pull while you’re in the heat of the moment. Hair is also synonymous with youth, so a woman with pigtails can fulfill a fetish for younger women. And hey, as long as she’s not actually a schoolgirl, there’s nothing wrong giving her a hair tug when she’s late for class.
Traditionally, cuckolding is when a couple agrees to both explore the turn-on of the female sleeping with other men and humiliate her male partner about the fact that she’s sleeping with someone else. The male partner need not be present. Perhaps he gets off on the mere thought of his partner having sex with someone else. For others, there’s an element of voyerism to the cuckolding as well. This kink isn’t just for heterosexual couples. People of all genders and orientations can enjoy cuckolding varieties. If you’re turned on by the idea of your partner sleeping with others, yet don’t necessarily want to go through the emotional tax and risk of them literally having sex with others, you can explore this kink through dirty talk or virtual sex with a third party.
Not all BDSM acts are physical. Humiliating or degrading language as a use of force can be just as exciting as physical sensations, such as impact play. A common example of humiliation is name-calling and verbal abuse. One of the most common misconceptions about humiliation play is that it’s antifeminist. But the truth is, many feminists enjoy being called names such as “bitch,” “slut,” or “whore” in bed. Your kinks are not your values! In a patriarchal world where women have long been told sex is not for pleasure, addressing what gets you off, especially if it’s nontraditional like humiliation and then engaging it can be a powerful way to take control of your sexuality. As always, discuss humiliation beforehand and keep it consensual. Your partner may be okay with being called a “slut” but not a “bitch” so be sure to define your boundaries.
12. Water Sports
Urophilia is a fancy name for watersports, golden showers, or the more direct name, pee play. With this kink, people find urination sexually arousing. There are lots of things you can do with urine, though the most common way to enjoy pee play is to give or receive golden showers. If you don’t remember the reports of that unverified dossier detailing that President Trump engaged in the act, a golden shower is, well, letting someone shower you or vice versa with their pee. If you want to try it out, start in the actual shower.
Most people hear “CBT” and think of cognitive behavioral therapy, a form of therapy that focuses on regulating emotional responses and developing helpful coping mechanisms. But in the world of kink, CBT refers to cock and ball torture. It’s fairly self-explanatory, and usually involves a dominatrix inflicting consensual pain on a submissive’s genitals: think stepping on testicles while wearing heels, punching and slapping the penis, or “forcing” penis-having submissives to wear an uncomfortable chastity device.
Whether it’s a kink or a fetish, objectification means arousal by being dehumanised. For example, someone who wants to be used as a sex doll or as a sex object would have an objectification kink or fetish. It’s important to note this is different than an objectum kink or fetish. People with objectum fantasies have sexual relationships or attraction to inanimate objects.
15. Domination & Submission
A dominant is someone who enjoys dominating their partner through various kinky activities. These can be physical, like impact play. Or mental, like humiliation and degradation. The submissive partner enjoys being dominated, and being the one who is consensually tied up, slapped, or humiliated. Usually when we hear people use terms like ‘dominant’ or ‘submissive’ to describe themselves, these are more identity-based than action-based. But these don’t have to be set in stone, there are people that use these terms interchangeably.
Fetishes are normal and natural. It easily for us humans to become associated with feeling of arousal to the strangest of things. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with liking a particular act or material. If you’ve found your biggest fetish amongst this list, we hope you’ve found some solace knowing you’re not alone in your interests! Stay sexy, stay kinky and remember to stay consensual!