12 ways women can improve their sex lives and have climax advantage! I’m going to get really vulnerable here: I’ve cried many times during sex because of my previous struggles to get wet and orgasm. Even though sex has always felt good for me and my partner would do everything right, I would struggle to orgasm. I would wonder what the hell was wrong with me. Then get anxious and worry about not climaxing, then climaxing becomes much harder. It’s a frustrating cycle.
But thankfully, I came across a 2017 study about the “orgasm gap” between people with different sexual orientations, and it touched on something I’m dying to know: common actions that may help women orgasm. According to this study, compared to women who orgasmed less frequently, women who orgasmed more frequently were likely to engage in the following 12 sex practices. The tips below make sense and provide a helpful and much-needed start!
1. Receive More Oral
According to another study, a combination of genital stimulation, deep kissing, and oral sex are the golden measures that can increase a woman’s likelihood of climaxing. And as someone who has received oral sex many times, I can confirm it’s a great tool for incredible orgasms. If you struggle to orgasm, ask your partner to perform oral sex on you. Here are some tips that can improve your oral sex game.
2. Have Longer Sex
Since women usually take longer to orgasm, longer-lasting sex can help ensure they’re able to. Plus, taking your time with sex can also mean you’re engaging in extra foreplay, teasing and anticipation, which can help women get more wet and therefore orgasm with more ease.
3. Have A Satisfying Relationship
While I’m no sex scientist, it makes sense to me that orgasms lead to relationship satisfaction, and relationship satisfaction can also lead to increased orgasms. When we’re happy with our partners, sex with them feels even better. If you and your partner are struggling, I encourage you to go on romantic dates or even attend couples therapy to talk it out. Good sex comes after a good relationship.
4. Ask Them Their Sexual Desires
It’s okay to ask for what you want in bed! This can be something as small as your partner adjusting the placement of their finger or something as big as trying a new kink or sex position. It can also include talking about what you like, don’t like, or want more of. According to additional research, communication in the bedroom is key to a happy, satisfying sex life. Remember, the purpose is to make sex better, and we all need it sometimes. In other words, try to feel grateful rather than self-conscious if you’re on the receiving end of feedback!
I’ve felt pleasantly surprised by how good I physically feel after giving and receiving positive comments during sex. Compliments can make partners feel more emotionally comfortable, lessening anxiety that can inhibit orgasms. So don’t be afraid to compliment your partner, and ask them to compliment you! Even better, be specific. Do you want them to talk about how hot your body is? How sexy your moans are? And what do they want you to compliment them on?
6. Have Phone Sex
Even if you and your partner live in the same town, sexy time, as I like to call it, doesn’t have to be entirely in person. Consider sexually teasing your lover over the phone or by text, either while masturbating or as foreplay, if you trust your partner. You may be more likely to orgasm afterwards, according to the study mentioned above!
7. Wear Lingerie
While sex feels great on its own and when you and your partner are both naked, wearing lingerie is a fun way to change things up. Wearing lingerie makes you feel especially sensual, and your lover gets to look at your beautiful body. If you need some lingerie ideas and want to hear how this tip went for someone else, check out this Cosmopolitan article.
8. Try New Positions
Experimenting with different sex positions is a wonderful way to keep things interesting. You’ll be able to discover what makes you orgasm the most easily as a result. For example, I just realised that if my partner is lying on top of me and playing with my clit, I can occasionally come faster. If you’re not sure what to do, try these postures that are ideal for vagina owners, as well as the Kivin Method, which has a greater success rate.
9. Practice Anal Play
Butt stuff can cause anxiety in some people due to fear of pain and poop. However, when anal is done correctly and safely it can be a phenomenal, mind-blowing experience. Practice makes perfect and I recommend trying it out alone first or as your partner watches. It’s important to start off really slow and not force anything inside. The goal is for the anal muscles to relax and expand, not be forced open.
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10. Explore Your Fantasies
Go all out when having sex, if you want! Do you have any fantasies you’d like to play out? Ask your partner if they’re up to it, and have fun. Need some ideas? A Glamour article has 26 sexual fantasies you can consider.
11. Dirty Talk
One thing that has totally upped my Sex Life has been sexy dirty talk before and during. Hearing them talk about how sexy I look and the naughty things they want to do with me really fires me up. I encourage you and your partner to engage in this too. You can talk about what you like, what feels good, how good you feel, and how sexy your partner is for example.
12. Express Love During Sex
While sexy talk is well, sexy, “love talk” in bed can also increase emotional comfort, while improving and expediting orgasms. Share how much you love your partner while doing something sexual to them, and ask them to do the same to you. This can make sex feel more emotionally intimate, which is a lovely, affirming feeling.
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While every woman’s experience with sex and orgasms is different, these sexual practices may help them climax more often, according to a 2017 study. Ultimately, try new things, communicate, and express your love.