Sex has played a part in some of my most vivid, emotional, and satisfying memories. Sometimes it keeps me awake at night fretting over embarrassing moments I’ve ever had. During sex, your body does some strange things. Things we have some control over and things we don’t.
As a Sex Worker and a writer who reads, writes and engages in a lot of sex, I’ve learnt that each of us has at least one story where our body betrayed us. We can all think back to that one time when we felt awkward and embarrassed about how our behaved during sex.
Sometimes those messy and strange experiences are sometimes the most relatable, and are almost always, the hardest things to talk about. I can’t tell you how many times I sat around with my girlfriends talking about sex and avoiding discussing something strange that happened in the bedroom. I was too terrified to tell them in fear of criticism. Worst of all, if I did speak up, I would have benefited from their advice and support.
So, here’s a list of all the strange, awkward things your body may do during sex and what to do about it, because chances are, you don’t want to tell your friends about it either.
I used to dread every time my partner went to touch my vagina or go to enter me and had to tell him to stop because I wasn’t wet. It always made me feel strange when they would lick their fingers and rub them against my pussy or spit directly on me (I HATED THAT!). I was ashamed about not being wet enough.
The amount of wetness produced by your body isn’t always related to how turned on you are. There will be times when I’m super horny but I just don’t get wet! I have Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) and a symptom of the condition is low testosterone in the body which can cause dryness. For me, I need twice the amount of foreplay that the regular gal most of the time in order to get wet enough for penetration. With new partners it’s really embarrassing when this happens because they think they’re doing something wrong even after I’ve explained why I’m not wet.
There are times when I want to have sex, but my body doesn’t cooperate. Thank goodness for lube! If you find yourself not getting as wet down there as you want to be during sex, there is no shame in adding some lube. Keep it by your bed just in case and don’t ever hesitate to reach for it. You might feel weird or embarrassed, but it’s normal and will make your sex more enjoyable.
Perhaps he’s too sleepy or drank too much, but whatever the reason, the wind isn’t blowing into his sails. I can only speak from a female perspective on this subject, but I do so with the idea that it is similar to the subject of dryness. Sometimes, much like when a woman wants to have sex but doesn’t get wet, a male wants to have sex but doesn’t get hard. There’s no need for anyone to be anxious in this situation.
When this occurs, simply go with the flow. Kiss him and watch a movie if your partner doesn’t want to keep trying. Or if he feels like giving all the pleasure to you, LET HIM! Don’t bring it up again or ask any more questions about the limpness, as this will only make them feel worse. Nothing is wrong with your partner, with you, or with anything else. It just occurs from time to time. Allow him to continue if he desires. Don’t be concerned about feeling selfish or sorry, just let him do his thing. There is nothing wrong with him wanting to make you happy.
3. Queefs & Farts
Regardless of how normal queefing and farting are, it is still one of the most embarrassing things for me to do during sex. It always appears to happen to me while or shortly after doing the job in a doggie manner. That, for some reason, is the worst for stopping airflow into and out of my vagina. When that happens, it makes me get a little tense. I’ve been with many lovers who genuinely love queefing and even the odd fart. But even their enjoyment of it doesn’t relax me in the slightest. I just act as if the noises never happened.
That is, admittedly, a childish response because I understand why it occurs and that it will most probably happen again. Farts are the same way. Despite the fact that they are completely beyond our control, they make me cringe. Don’t make the same mistake as me. Allow yourself to be unconcerned with the strange noises, and don’t let them stifle your confidence. Smile, laugh, and utilise it as a funny intermission during your sex session.
I don’t know about other ladies, but I enjoy blowjobs since it allows me to enjoy getting my partner turned on. The joy it gives them is obvious on their faces, and I can’t get enough of the moans and gasps that accompany it. There have been many times I’ve taken a hard dick in my mouth and gagged even though I wanted to have that dick in my mouth. Sometimes I even gag while brushing my teeth.
But, once again, gagging is something we can’t control. I tried all kinds of tactics out there to stop one from gagging but none of them worked. Take it slowly if you find yourself gagging on your partner’s cock. While keeping your gag reaction in mind, you can still offer a terrific blowjob! Most guys I’ve been with tend you get even more excited when I gag so I find that encouraging!
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5. Strange Pains & Cramps
There you are, going at it when suddenly, there is a wicked cramp in your leg. This happens fairly regularly to me because I tend to enjoy really intricate positions that involve a lot of leg and spine bending. When it comes to sex, there is good pain and bad pain. I’m the kind of girl that likes a healthy dose of pain with my sex. A nice slap on my ass, a nice pull on my hair or a cheeky lip bite.
But sometimes there is pain that doesn’t feel good during sex. It could be that you aren’t properly lubricated, especially during anal intercourse. It could be a cramp, in which case you should simply rest and drink some water. Stop sex if something doesn’t seem right or hurts you. It’s your body’s way of informing you that you need to make an adjustment, such as moving positions or using lubricant.
Don’t disregard the discomfort no matter what you do. You could cause serious harm to your body and wind up in a lot more discomfort after the intercourse. Don’t be concerned if your companion becomes irritated or offended; your physical well-being is essential. Plus, if they become upset with you because you’re in pain, they’re a jerk, and you should probably stop giving them access to your body.
6. Surprise Periods
Sometimes sex can bring on mensuration. Personally, my favourite time to have sex is when I’m bleeding because for me, the penis feels like it’s massaging my cervix which really helps with my cramps. When I was on my period, I had a couple previous partners who wouldn’t have sex with me. They made me feel nasty that I wanted to have sex while I was on my period. Don’t be like this, if you’re a male reading this. Women are strong, amazing, and extraordinary creatures who must deal with their bodies bleeding for days at a time. We have the right to get off whilst bleeding in order to help ourselves feel better, and men have no right to pass judgement.
My recommendation is to lay down an old towel and keep going; it’s not a big deal. Even if Aunt Flo popped up unexpectedly, there’s nothing wrong with getting it on while she’s in town. If your partner makes you feel bad about something, he or she is usually not someone you should consider having sex with.
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When I was younger I remember hearing the term “It smells like sex in here” on a TV and being completely perplexed. I didn’t know sex had a smell until I became sexually active. Sweat, cum, and a variety of other scents blend and fill the air with an unmistakable aroma. I’ve known both men and women who are self-conscious about sex-related aromas. I used to think my vag smelled awful, I thought the scent was too strong and I refused to allow my partners to down on me and if they did I couldn’t enjoy it because I was too anxious.
Stop worrying about odours as long as you know your area is clean. I think a woman’s scent is intoxicating, and a man’s musky scent during a long, sweaty night of sex is amazing. Don’t be embarrassed by it, and don’t let it stop you from getting it on. So many people love those natural body scents and so do I now that I’ve grown up.
Sex Can Be Strange
It’s also thrilling, intense, wonderful, and can even be relaxing amount so many other things! But yes, it can also be embarrassing and sometimes uncomfortable. This article was written to help you know you’re not strange if any of the things mentioned above have happened to you. In fact, you’re so normal and they happen to everyone.
The only way to normalise what our bodies do during sex is to talk about it and continue to talk about it until the stigma evaporates. So don’t be afraid of the queefs, farts, smells, wetness (or lack thereof) that occurs during sex. It’s all part of the excitement of sex.