Studies by Terri Fisher and her research team at Ohio State University suggest that on average, men and women think of sex about 20 times within a day. Despite this sex fixation, the harsh reality is that most couples only make love at the end of a busy day, tired and exhausted. When it feels like another chore to complete before we finally rest for the day. Even if you’re young enough to have sex at any time of day, there’s a good chance you’re still doing a lot of things incorrectly. As a result, here are ten sex ruining habits.
1. Taking Your Phone To Bed
Your bed should be used primarily for sleeping and sex. According to a recent survey, 75% of Americans use their cellphones before going to bed, with 35% saying it has had a detrimental impact on their sex life.
Bringing a smartphone to bed diverts your attention away from your companion, reducing your capacity to spend meaningful time together. When she’s looking at her phone while you’re looking at yours, your intimacy suffers. Because you’re both focused on different things, connection becomes more difficult.
2. Poor Stress Management
The secretion of the hormone cortisol is one of the direct effects of stress on your body. When your body feels like it’s in a fight or flight situation, it releases cortisol, which causes testosterone production to drop in males, which results in a poor sex life. High-stress levels can have a direct effect on your body both mentally and physically. It can make you fatigued, irritable, and tense. Furthermore, being anxious all of the time can cause you to become distracted or, even worse, depressed. Learning to appropriately handle stress is a terrific approach to improve your general health and sex life.
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3. Drinking Too Much Alcohol
What causes intoxicated men to have trouble getting an erection? Because there’s a reduced influx of blood to the penis whenever you’re intoxicated. Alcohol is a depressant. Meaning when a man is intoxicated, his senses slow down. And this in turn interferes with the signals that cause the smooth muscle relaxation that which leads erection difficulties.
Indeed, drinking a little bit of alcohol can put some of us in the mood for sex. According to research, it can even lead to “heightened sexual response, increased arousal, enhanced orgasm, and loosening of sexual inhibitions.”
But drinking too much alcohol has many side effects on your sex life ranging from, reduced blood flow to your penis, reduced testosterone production, decreased sex drive, and even erectile dysfunction.
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4. Unrealistic Expectations
The primary problem with watching porn is that it creates in you false expectations about what sex should be. Most women will never look, talk, or sound like the women in pornographic videos. When you let the false expectations from porn into your head, you’ll expect the women you have sex with in the real world to react the same way they do in pornography. Furthermore, watching too much pornography can desensitise you to sex, making you do more extreme things to get aroused. A 2015 study on high school seniors revealed that people who often use internet pornography, more than once a week experience a drop in desire for sex.
5. Skipping Foreplay
As excited as you may be when you’re about to have sex, it’s important to remember that sex doesn’t begin when you, get into bed (especially for women) that is a major sex ruining habit! It all begins with the mind. Ruth Westheimer, a sex specialist, explained, “compared to men, a woman’s body takes longer to warm up and get to the level of arousal needed for orgasm.”
Not skipping foreplay leads to a woman getting more aroused and much more readily reaching orgasm. As a bonus, if you take your time with foreplay, you can learn to understand your woman’s body better.
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6. Poor Diet
A healthy diet is beneficial to your general health, but it is especially beneficial to your sexual life. If you modify your nutritional habits, you will notice an almost immediate increase in your sexual life.
Excessive consumption of processed foods and sugar can cause a reduction in energy, blood flow, and testosterone production. A bad diet can also cause a loss of sensitivity, making it difficult to enjoy sex as much as you should.
7. Lack Of Communication
Couples often suffer in silence because one or both partners do not want to hurt each others feelings.
But the harsh reality is that if you want a successful sex life, you must be willing to have an awkward conversation with your partner about what you want from them. And don’t take it personally if he or she tells you anything you need to work on. Put your ego aside and pay attention. Dr. Ruth Westheimer, a sex therapist, advised, “If I have to pick up a few pieces of advice for couples today, the first one will be to listen to each other… to put those phones aside and listen to each other.”
Indeed you should pay attention and listen to her body, but it’s even better when you ask her directly. Ask her what she likes and what she doesn’t. And don’t be afraid to communicate your likes, dislikes, or what you might want to try.
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8. Always Doing The Same Thing
When you’ve been with one person for a long time, this practise can be especially damaging to your sex life. When you’ve been with someone for a long time, you create a natural rhythm for how you have sex. But the grim reality is that the same old foreplay and positions lead to a monotonous sex life. The reality is that your preferences will evolve or change as your relationship progresses, especially when it comes to sex.
9. Thinking Every Woman’s Body Is The Same
This is one of the biggest sex ruining habits in dating. The truth is that getting a lady to enjoy sex isn’t a one-size-fits-all operation. What appeals to one lady may not appeal to another. As a result, you must recognise that each woman’s body is unique. When you engage with a woman, pay attention to her body. Take note of what her body responds to.
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10. Lack Of Consistent & Quality Sleep
In a study conducted with 171 women, it was found that having an extra hour of sleep, made women 14 percent more likely to have sex the next day.
Your body needs sleep to repair and rejuvenate. And if you’re lacking in quality sleep, it can seriously affect your sex life. A lack of sleep can lead to increased irritability, tension, stress, and also reduce the production of testosterone.
Now, good sleep isn’t a magic fix for all sexual difficulties. Happiness, relationship satisfaction, overall physical health, etc., contribute to sexual desire and arousal. Sleep is just another piece of the puzzle.
We all want a sexual life that is satisfying and enjoyable for both ourselves and our partners. Take notice of any of these ten bad habits that apply to you and work on them! A good sex life, like most good things in life, is the result of a conscious effort to create it. Don’t rely solely on hormones and chance.