Almost any women you speak to could tell you of at least one story where they have noticed and a guy and hoped that, that guy would notice them too. And, often they do.
That guy is so stumped as to how to act, speak or approach a girl that they let the opportunity slip.
Imagine if your soul mate was right across the room from you. Sometimes you can just look someone in the eyes and see that they’re made for you. Maybe as a friend, a soul mate or lover, maybe even all three if you’re really lucky.
I understand that your current situation might make it a little tricky, maybe you’re with a group of friends, maybe you have a partner, or wife… for certain there is one thing that can’t be denied. Human attraction. That gut feeling that this IS or could be something special.
Have you heard of the phrase “twin flame”?
Let me enlighten you.
A twin flame relationship is when two people are perfect matches as a result of shared pain or another difficulty.
The important part is in the dynamic between the two people. It’s where the difference between a twin flame and a life partner (or soulmate) really exists.
I get that we aren’t all looking for our happy ever after just yet, but, you need to start somewhere!
Often before you even approach someone you gain eye contact, you lock eyes across the room and there is a mutual holding space for one another.
If she glides her eyes to yours then darts away, this may mean she doesn’t quite know how to look at you.
You may make her nervous.
Women can be amazing at avoiding things, if she hasn’t approached you, it’s time for you to make the first move.
When you approach her, ask questions about her, or relate to her stories to keep the conversation going. Listen to what she says, she will acknowledge the fact that you are interested and paying attention.
This is where you can cross the line from a friendly chat to offering yourself out there to this girl, by sharing something personal that you wouldn’t necessarily share with every other person you meet, you are being vulnerable and open. Chances are she will meet you there and share something personal of her own.
Don’t ignore her tone or underlying message
This goes for her body language and her conversation. The way she speaks, how she speaks, what she speaks about and where you eyes and body are facing.
Generally if you are interested in someone (and vice versa) you give them your full body attention.
You look at them while you speak and you hold a conversation, a two-way conversation! The last thing a girl wants to hear is about how much iron you can pump or what car you drive.
She wants to get to know you, but she’s not interested in another jumped up bloke trying to woo her with his muscles.
Well, maybe she is, but you get the drift.
Let’s dive a little deeper into a few of these, starting with
It’s important to remember to walk up to her just as you would a bunch of good friends. Take your hands out of your pockets, walk and breathe slowly and consciously. Look only at them, and don’t flick your eyes around, discard the surroundings.
*You want to be fully aware of the present moment, but not distracted by it.
*Don’t move in too close, there is a fine line between approaching and intruding on their space.
*Stop close enough so you can talk to them easily without leaning forward.
Stand up straight, so…leaning in is bad.
You’ll be an intruder invading the group’s space, girl’s hate that, plus, it you’ll appear like just another needy guy looking to get some.
Instead, you want to lean back just a tad, with your feet slightly apart. You will take up some space and it will show that you’re easy and comfortable, and not awkward!
Don’t overdo it!
With a beautiful bright clear smile, you radiate positive energy. People will want to be around you. Important, stick with me here though… by smiling all over the place at everything they say and do, you’ll go overboard.
Let your face mirror a positive attitude, an easy way to do this is mirror what the group is doing.
As I said earlier, hands out of your pockets! Use them while you speak.
For starters, fold your hands in front of your chest for a good vantage point. I always emphasize looking into people’s eyes.
Focus on one person so you won’t appear all over the place, but also give regular attention to the others to engage them. You’ll see that the person you address will become an anchor as you keep the others involved.
Next time you have an urge to approach someone, please do yourself a favour and explore that desire. For yourself, and the beautiful girl on the receiving end of it.