Are you finding yourself destroying your relationships?
We all know that it’s easier to break a friendship than it is to create one, and we’re all familiar with worries that certain friendships might be more hassle than they’re worth. Nobody likes the thought of a ruined friendship, but nobody likes the thought of spending time with somebody who doesn’t enjoy their presence at the same time. However, if you find that your friendship is becoming strained, it might be your own doing. Here are four things that you need to stop before you destroy your friendship for good
Being jealous is destroying your friendships
One of the biggest ways that you can potentially destroy your friendship is by being jealous of the other person.
Whether this is being jealous of their career, their looks, or their general accomplishments – it’s only a toxic behaviour.
By being jealous, you’re making them feel as if they’re not worthy of their achievements, and you’re actually putting them down in the long run.
Even if you find yourself wishing that it was you who got that promotion instead, you shouldn’t try to make your friends feel bad for what you haven’t even had the chance to lose. Instead of turning to jealousy and making your friends feel bad, boost them up and give them the confidence they need to keep on striving. Everybody needs their own support group – and your friends should be your main confidants. Being jealous just puts a bigger strain on your connection, as they feel they won’t be able to trust or talk to you.
You might be able to complain for hours about how that certain friend hasn’t been making time for you or has been cancelling your plans.
The question is, are you doing the same thing?
You need to know that you cannot be mad with somebody for not trying to connect with you if you haven’t been trying to connect with them in the first place. Yes, they didn’t answer your text, but you ignored their last one. Being hypocritical in this sense leads totemic behaviour or destroying your relationships. Even when you are spending time with each other, you’re going to find the atmosphere awkward and uncomfortable. This can become unpleasant for all those involved.
Just because you’re bored of what’s happening in your own life at the moment doesn’t give you the right to try and stir the pot to keep the drama flowing. Even if it’s slightly entertaining, you’re going to be destroying your friendships more then you initially think, and it’s generally a very good way to destroy a friendship completely. People want to make friends with those who are drama-free and somewhat laid back.
They want to know that they have a support group that they will be able to turn to when their own lives are too hectic – so they don’t want to just be dealing with more drama that you’ve probably partially fabricated to get a bigger response.
Don’t try to be somebody you’re not and don’t try to involve yourself in things that don’t concern you, and you’ll find that your friendships are better for it.
Being Self-Absorbed Is Destroying Your Friendships
Stop making it all about you. Your friends need to know that you care about them and what’s happening in their lives.
Rather than you going on at length about the latest little issue in your life. If they feel as if you don’t care about them personally, then they’re not going to enjoy spending time with you and could very easily start to distance themselves from your presence. Talking about yourself is completely fine and healthy – but there is a line between being open with your friends and just being completely self-absorbed. It goes both ways – if you’re interested in them, they’ll be interested in hearing about what’s up with you.
There are many different ways that friendships can fall apart and sometimes it’s due to no fault of our own. However, there are a few things that you need to stop doing if you’re trying to save that connection while you can.
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