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How To Find A Unicorn: A Couple’s Guide

Are you in a secure relationship and looking to bring a 3rd into the bedroom?
Knowing how to find a Unicorn or better yet, have them find you could be a perfect way to create an extraordinary sexual experience for everyone involved. Being intertwined in a sexual frenzy with beautiful bodies can amplify one’s self confidence due to the absolute adoration and worship given and received.

What is a Unicorn?

Unicorn is a term used to describe a single person (female or male) interested in meeting a couple for sexual intentions. The Unicorn may simply be interested in a one night experience, a friend with benefits, something more serious and long-term or anything in-between.

They may wish to date a couple exclusively, or they may desire unlimited freedom to date individuals outside of their relationship with you. They might want to be there for the couple, taking part in a sexual fantasy or role play, or they might be searching for a couple who will focus all their attention on them. To summarise, never assume that all Unicorns have the same desires. The only way to figure out exactly what that the Unicorn is searching for, as with any sexual interactions, is to ask them.

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How to find a Unicorn

There is a plethora of dating apps and websites online dedicated to threesomes and group sex. If you’re wanting to find a Unicorn or you’re interested in being a Unicorn yourself, the most important thing is selling yourself. It could also be helpful familiarising yourself with some polyamory terms.

How are you/your relationship wanting to be perceived?
What are you hoping for?
Likes, interests and desires?
Dream date?
Limits/Boundaries?


When you get your intentions clear by answering the above questions you will have greater success finding your dream scenario. The best way to approach a unicorn is to be honest and upfront about what you’re looking for and to ask what they are looking for. The sooner you get this out in the open the better.

Make no assumptions about others sexual preferences. People are interested in dating couples and unicorns for a variety of reasons. Not all unicorns are bisexual, so don’t expect them to want to have sex with both of you.

Respect and empathy are the keys on how to find a Unicorn.

A unicorn is not a sex toy that you can turn on and off whenever you want. Their feelings and desires are just as intricate as yours and/or your primary partner’s. Treat them with the same level of respect that you would demand of yourself.

To learn a little more about what it’s like to be on the unicorn’s side of this dynamic, read up on first-person unicorn experiences. You could also check out the work of Dr Ryan Scoats, who has a PhD in threesomes and has written one of the world’s only academic textbooks on the subject.

Be welcome to change.

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Relationship dynamics can change for a variety of reasons, and when three individuals are involved, the chances of this happening are naturally increased. Even if you have everything planned out, things might still go wrong. This isn’t something to get flustered over.

If you have any unexpected feelings arise, express them as soon as possible. This helps to avoid miscommunications, which can lead to a messy situation. It’s important not to take change personally because other people’s feelings aren’t always about you. 

Unicorn Misconceptions

  • Unicorns are all bisexual women.
    A unicorn can be a person of any gender or sexual orientation.
  • Unicorns want to date a couple exclusively.
    Although some unicorns may be interested in exclusivity, others will expect the freedom to keep meeting other partners.
  • Unicorns are only there to help the couple.
    Although some unicorns may be interested in facilitating sexual fantasies for a couple, others might not want to do this. Always take the time to find out what they want out of the dynamic too.
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Guidelines when meeting a Unicorn

  • Make sure that you are all on the same page about what you want and don’t want out of the throuple dynamic.
  • Everyone should talk openly about their sexual desires, fantasies, and boundaries.
  • Establish ground rules and plan logistics. This includes details beyond sex. For example, whose place will you go to and will everyone sleep over together?
  • Communication doesn’t shut down during sex. Keep checking in with each other.
  • It’s always OK for anyone to change their mind, and to say no, at any point and for any reason.
  • Remember that within this dynamic you are three people, all with equally valid feelings. Be prepared to respect the boundaries of a unicorn as much as you would your primary partner’s.

Threesome apps and websites

Have patience

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Patience is really important when you are trying to find your unicorn. The timeline for finding your unicorn can vary. You have to find a comfortable person with your current relationship and who is also into both you and your current partner. Sometimes sparks will fly between two people and not with the third. This can be very frustrating, but it is something that you’re going to have to accept. Finding a unicorn to join your relationship is something that will take dedication.

If you are willing to wait it out, then you might be able to find your perfect match. Use the above advice to your full advantage and be honest about your expectations. Put your cards on the table, and you might find another honest person who is willing to give it a shot. Your chances will likely be better if you live in an area where polyamory is a bit more common, but you can always search wherever you happen to be. Using the Internet helps substantially, and you’ll probably meet bisexual individuals in everyday life as well.

Don’t get frustrated when something promising doesn’t work out. Just keep trying and remember to appreciate your current romantic partner. You don’t want to lose the love you two share due to your desire to add a third person to your relationship dynamic. Remember to cultivate a strong relationship while you’re looking for a third partner. You’ll find your unicorn someday, and it just might work out beautifully.

Remember that the goal is a satisfying experience for all three of you.

Once you have finally found your unicorn, it might take some getting used to. This new relationship dynamic can also bring about some relationship challenges. It’s common for people to feel jealous, and you might need to work on aspects of your relationship to ensure that everything works out long-term. Luckily, you don’t have to go through this alone.

You can reach out to dedicated online couples counsellors for assistance. They are ready to assist you along the way, helping you work through your relationship dynamics. These situations can be complex, but online couples counselors have experience with situations just like yours.

Online counseling can also be very convenient for the hustle and bustle of daily life. You don’t have to worry about office hours or leave your house to get the help you need. Online therapy is a private and confidential experience that is perfect for romantic situations just like yours. Don’t hesitate to contact an online couples counselor today if you need additional support.

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