Chloe's Intimate Insights

The Issue With Orgasm Oriented Sex

The issue with orgasm oriented sex! You might be thinking what issue there could possibly be?

Well I’m going to give you something to think about for the next time you’re having sex. When orgasm is used as the goal for sex, performance anxiety can arise which can often intertwine with “sexual disfunction” symptoms like penis flaccidity and dryness of the vagina.
These symptoms can make us feel frustrated towards ourselves and even our lovers, maybe that’s because we strive to be our partners best. 
The issue with orgasm as an end goal is, if you are racing towards the finish line, are you enjoying the journey? 

If your focus is on the big orgasm there’s no way that you can be totally aware of all the gentle subtitles that happen energetically and cellularly when two bodies meet skin on skin. That’s because if orgasm is your goal in mind, your focus is in the future.
You’re anticipating how good it’s going to feel arriving at the orgasm instead of noticing how deep the pleasure of being intimate with your lover runs. There are two different types of orgasm the human body is capable of, I like to call them HOT and COOL. 

A HOT orgasm is caused by high friction intensity which can feel very tense and forced. The HOT orgasm is sought after when a person is in a hungry state. Training yourself to seek HOT orgasms can lead to desensitisation of the genitals making you seek more & more intensity. Adult media always involves HOT and that’s where we learn this type of sex from.

In porn, it’s a theatrical display of fast, intense, friction focused sex and usually with unrealistic positions. Seeing this media, we can develop certain expectations when it comes to sex which limit our capabilities of giving and receiving loving pleasure.

This HOT type involves a lot of tension which forces the orgasm out. Even when the short, sharp HOT orgasm is achieved, it can leave you drained, unsatisfied and wanting another.

A COOL orgasm is achieved when one fully immerses themselves in the experience of now. It’s being present with every moment, every touch, stroke, caress and kiss as if it’s the first time – not hoping for more, not desiring more, just being present with your inner pleasure. A COOL orgasm feels like being dropped into a pool of electricity. Your whole body feels relaxed, nourished and expansive.

A COOL orgasm will last 3x longer, sending waves of ecstasy throughout your body, like a feeling of being love-drunk. A COOL orgasm will happen when all expectations, beliefs and past memories of sex are pushed aside. It’s just you and your partner breathing each others breath, feeling their skin on yours and truly cherishing the moment for what it is. That’s when the COOL orgasm will possess you and the energy of ecstasy will be the one making love, to you! Slowing down and taking some deep breathes during sex will help you cool down, bring you back to the present and have you loving for longer. This explains the issue with orgasm oriented sex!

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